Friday, August 12, 2011

When will I ever do things right? Jira cried for the first time after a very,very long time.

Dear Readers,

Today my teacher said something mean to me because of the mistake I have done in our baking class.

One line I can;t forget....

" I have heard so MANY things about you Jira, I dont want it to happen in module 3 again. "          --> She is my new teacher .

..and BANG!

Ouch! Was my former teacher reporting my stubbornness to them? Huhuhuuh

I am stubborn and I don't follow instructions. It is just that they give us a recipe which I believe I can improve so instead of baking my cake the way they want me to do it, I add complementary ingredients which is AGAINST the rule.

Yeah so am I really BAD?


I know it is my fault by they also HATE me. I believe so.

My current teacher gave our group a lot of minus points!

First because of the dough!
Second because we use our measuring cup as a container for our milk!
Third because our dough was not right!
Fourth because we use too much flour in our worktable.

And we almost got deducted  again because she THOUGHT we pour our pie filling when it is still hot! I KNOW it! Grrrrrr
And you know what? Other groups pour their HOT (newly cooked) pie fillings into the pie crust

I admit that it is our wrong but only our group was deducted because we used  lot of flour! Other group did that too but was ignored. Our teacher was only minding our group! huuhuuuhuuh It is all my fault! She hates me and she always look for our group and notice every single mistake.

Am I still so wrong???????

 Do you know what  I did ?

After baking ,

I hid in my newly discovered corner of the building, it is actually a stairway to the 2nd gate but it was closed now . So no human being can see me there.

So do you know what I did?


   < mother I miss you,she haven't called me for a week or more. I miss her, wish she was here.>



< WHAT IS Wrong with me? Why can't I just act normally?>


       <How can I be so stubborn?>

CRIED........and   Cried. Until I got tired.

It was my first cry after a very long, long,long,long time!

I can't hardly breathe!

I was crying with all the reasons I know.
I cried because my MR. SUPERSTAR  is so perfect and will never like a SUPERFAN like me.
I was crying remembering how my life inside the house is working.
I cried feeling so much pity to my father who is so poor and
I cried feeling so MUCH pity to my mother because she is alone! She haven't find a new husband after she got separated with my father.Now she was so alone and she always tell me that she wishes for someone who will help her emotionally and  financially. She is soooooo beautiful and she had so many suitors but she will make some of them her boyfriends and break up because she gets turned-off.
I cried remembering what I read in my mother's birthday card she received from her friends. <Ill have a new post for more details>

I cried ......knowing how my teachers HATE me.


To cut this short:

I finished flooding my apron with TEARS.

I laughed at myself because I am so pitiful. Crying alone in an abandoned stairway.

I got a little scared because I realized that the stairway is ABANDONED! It is getting darker and darker.

I erased the scary thoughts I have.

I felt good.

I felt so good!! At last I cried my worries away. I have finished reflecting my mistakes and promise to never do it again.

To cut this very short:

I went back to our room , only to know that my classmates are GONE! Class was dismissed a long long time ago!


bloody eyes

bloody eyes
"Bloody Eyes"- by Princess Secret, one of my first paintings.