I never knew that Rose
 could be a beautiful name for a man, until a met you.
You were there looking at me straight in the eyes
and I thought it is the end of the world.
Then you asked me how much does our banana cue cost
 and woe to me I just realized you were a costumer.
It was just a few seconds when our eyes met
 but every milifraction of it stained my heart.
I tried not to tremble the moment I would answer.
But I cant even utter words. I am so stupid.


Did he think I am weird?
I bet not , because I believe a beauty like him have met
even more awestruck species like me.
In behalf of others , I say sorry to him not in words but
through telepathy,the only thing at the moment I could afford..
We didn't mean it, you are just irresistible.
Our world has to stop, so that we can enjoy
the breathtaking sight we see.
For we may not see it again.
You should be looking irritated
instead your demeanor were gentle.

How lovely can you get?
You were like a rose so beautiful and stunning
but grow thorns that go deep in my heart
makes it bleed knowing that you can never be mine.


The close space I created is already destroyed.
The power of Truth killed the monster I called Illusions.
Now, Im back to reality.
I can tell how many moments had passed.
You were standing there, waiting for an answer.
And you were smiling!
"A", Is it because I look weird and messy?
"B", Is it because you can read my actions?  or
"C", Is it because , it is just the way you are?
A,B or C the answer cant help my lil' misery.

Oh! God! I could die out of shame!

Lee Min ho 2011 portrait drawing

My first portrait drawing of Lee Min Ho.

Im a beginner in drawing portraits but I hope you like this.















<sigh>
How I wish Min Ho can see this.
It took me almost a 3 months to move my pencil to draw.
I am so lazy. Thanks to Min Ho, after getting lost in his photos, the next thing I know, my pencil was dancing !

 Hi Minho! Ur my idol and inspiration. You are always the best! It is not yet done hehhe I am just excited to post this.

I am so Ugly

I am so ugly ,
yet I expect too much.

I am so ugly,
yet I am so in love with myself and him
   who don't even know I exist.


I am so ugly,
so I don't have the right to fall in love.

My point is you can love me or not,
but I cant and shouldn't love somebody too much.
GO ahead cause you have the right....

...but I who is UGLY must not.

------------------------------------> S           O           S<------------------------------------------------

My 2nd gothic video on youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAF0Ri6SluM

            IT IS EVERYWHERE I GO.  I CANT AVOID IT. 
                               
                                                                   I CANT BLAME THEM.




                               I CAN ONLY BLAME                                                                                                                            .                                                         OTHERS AND MY SELF  FOR SEEING AND IGNORING THEM.     






                                                                                                               THEY ARE IN A STRUGGLE FROM MAN'S PREJUDICE , 


                                FROM THEMSELVES AND FROM NATURE'S WRATH.
                                  
                             


                                                               IT IS NOT always their fault... but maybe even YOURS!





  
We know this but only empathize.
<yes it is something we can all experience but theirs are far worse.>



http://photos.travelblog.org/Photos/71626/285037/t/2417161-Indian-Leper-Begging-0.jpg


                     





                     Giving alms has always been a debate but a single coin won't hurt but it wont help too much to the point that they would be more dependent on us. Actually they are already but we still ignore saying we do not have and saying its their fault.
You don't have to feed all of them nor sacrifice your lil' allowance but at least when u see one , make sure to take a look. We can always help our neighbors that we meet on our way.








"These guys must work or else they die on their own. "


"They decided to live like that,so they mst face the consequences."


"My family is starving too, sorry I am not a HERO"




...BUT seriously, are you joking,? By that look (for example), how can they work? Even


 graduates and healthy people cant. Who will accept them? Think back.


...how do you know? Is that what we call prejudice? Do you even know them? Who are you 


by the way?


....Are they asking all your bread? A cost of a single cigar,candy, or new magazine could help them so much.








                         What now? 




"They will die soon. It is no use."








- See? Do you know what you mean by that?


                   It is GIVING UP. You are not even in their situation . DO you think those people cant just 


 kill themselves rather than beg and starve? Ofcourse they can but still they had their 


HOPES. 


          
     They dont wait for Death (though some might do) ,they wait for a miracle from directly 


from God or indirectly from you.








Think back... 

                                                                *** Hope this helps***




{I am a woman, troubled by all the problems of EARTH but I DONT REGRET. }

When can you say someone is matured?

                 Unbelievable Friend


let us call my bestfriend #3, Fery.

I was so excited to know what the company has decided for me.  What other works are they going to give to me aside from being an artist? Will I be assign in the technicals? office management ? Whatever it is, I don't care as long as I have an assignment but here comes Fery,my best friend. Telling me that I will only be an artist and it has been decided. I asked why and whoaaaaaaaaaahhhhh.

WHAT?

:"because you are immature."

OMG.

I know my self,I may act funny and childish but I know that when it comes to maturity physical and mental, I am a lot better than the average. I am not one of those people who define maturity as following etiquettes. <u dont have to follow everything to be mature >

Oh no. Is it my carefree.funny,cheerful personality? Do I have to look emo or serious to be mature?
For how many times ,we have been together? It is not too long,months but I believe it is enough for them to see through me.

COME ON! When they have problems ,I put aside my wacky self and talk to them seriously and maturely. (though some situations,I have to use my dominant personality for a purpose)<let the reader understand>

I hate it,they even ask for my advice and agree with it. They follow it and become satisfied. They don't even know how to handle those situations. A lot of things are happening to me now, my family,academic,intrapersonal problems are coinciding. As if they are on a race as to who could kill me first or just cause me depression. <evil laugh> Thanks to our Father in heaven whom I love very much and who never left me,to my wiseness(if you call it that way) and to my positive outlook that made me see things from the bright side, for because of them I SURVIVED. No. I just didn't survived, I LIVED. <notice the difference>

What pisses me off is that she is my best friend. Who is left to understand me? I know some "real: mature people out there and they understand my actions a lot and even predict it. They even know the reason. For average people,it is either stupid,confusing but to them it is cool. Like for example,<i have to spoon feed this part>whe our organization held an Open Forum and there was a part were asked what they hate from each other. her reason was, " She is so irritating and noisy sometimes. She is O.a"
but I hated her because she HATES herself. She have low confidence on what she can do and I truly hate it when she is like that. For others it was confusing,some who heard have neutral reactions but there is one guy who said, "what a true bestfriend!"
Do you think Im boasting or something? Because I am not. I am saying this for the world to understand. For the world to know . For the world to sympathize or disagree.
And one last little reason, because  I got tired of facebook. 

FINE!
I'm sick of human "standards". So,I have to let go of my manly,carefree acts and be silent,serious "looking"
 and all of it.
First impression lasts,I know that. They knew ,I gradually changed from silent ,"standard or common" type of a woman to a very open ,wacky type ,thinking that they were mature enough to understand me.

Well,what can i do? Humans are confused. They lived in a world were movies and dramas can easily influenced them. Many lost their rationality. They see what they think they are seeing. Thinking that must be it.
they got trapped between the real and surreal world.

So what can I do?
            I can only understand. Now , I will change for them. Let us see what will happen. Of course I'll be the real me in my room.
            I can only observed more.

 Let their be peace in my comments.
Thanks for reading! =)