When will I ever do things right? Jira cried for the first time after a very,very long time.

Dear Readers,


Today my teacher said something mean to me because of the mistake I have done in our baking class.

One line I can;t forget....




" I have heard so MANY things about you Jira, I dont want it to happen in module 3 again. "          --> She is my new teacher .


..and BANG!

Ouch! Was my former teacher reporting my stubbornness to them? Huhuhuuh

I am stubborn and I don't follow instructions. It is just that they give us a recipe which I believe I can improve so instead of baking my cake the way they want me to do it, I add complementary ingredients which is AGAINST the rule.

Yeah so am I really BAD?


YES I AM!

I know it is my fault by they also HATE me. I believe so.

My current teacher gave our group a lot of minus points!

First because of the dough!
Second because we use our measuring cup as a container for our milk!
Third because our dough was not right!
Fourth because we use too much flour in our worktable.

And we almost got deducted  again because she THOUGHT we pour our pie filling when it is still hot! I KNOW it! Grrrrrr
And you know what? Other groups pour their HOT (newly cooked) pie fillings into the pie crust

I admit that it is our wrong but only our group was deducted because we used  lot of flour! Other group did that too but was ignored. Our teacher was only minding our group! huuhuuuhuuh It is all my fault! She hates me and she always look for our group and notice every single mistake.


Am I still so wrong???????

 Do you know what  I did ?



After baking ,


I hid in my newly discovered corner of the building, it is actually a stairway to the 2nd gate but it was closed now . So no human being can see me there.

So do you know what I did?








I CRIED!


   <.....my mother I miss you,she haven't called me for a week or more. I miss her, wish she was here.>




and




CRIED


< WHAT IS Wrong with me? Why can't I just act normally?>


 

and
       <How can I be so stubborn?>



CRIED........and   Cried. Until I got tired.

It was my first cry after a very long, long,long,long time!

I can't hardly breathe!

I was crying with all the reasons I know.
I cried because my MR. SUPERSTAR  is so perfect and will never like a SUPERFAN like me.
I was crying remembering how my life inside the house is working.
I cried feeling so much pity to my father who is so poor and
I cried feeling so MUCH pity to my mother because she is alone! She haven't find a new husband after she got separated with my father.Now she was so alone and she always tell me that she wishes for someone who will help her emotionally and  financially. She is soooooo beautiful and she had so many suitors but she will make some of them her boyfriends and break up because she gets turned-off.
I cried remembering what I read in my mother's birthday card she received from her friends. <Ill have a new post for more details>
I MISS HER SO MUCH.

I cried ......knowing how my teachers HATE me.


UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! T__________T


To cut this short:

I finished flooding my apron with TEARS.

I laughed at myself because I am so pitiful. Crying alone in an abandoned stairway.

I got a little scared because I realized that the stairway is ABANDONED! It is getting darker and darker.

I erased the scary thoughts I have.

I felt good.

I felt so good!! At last I cried my worries away. I have finished reflecting my mistakes and promise to never do it again.


To cut this very short:

I went back to our room , only to know that my classmates are GONE! Class was dismissed a long long time ago!












P.S.  I LOVE COOKING!

I Was INSULTED by the Bank Teller

Dear Diary,

I opened a bank account yesterday.

.

.

.

.

.

P.S. the bank teller could HARDLY believe I am under 18!

.

.

T__T

.

.

“Oh Hippest Teens Club…….Oh,that’s for TEENAGERS only.” ~._.~

I felt a chill in my spine. What did she say? I beg her pardon.

huhuhuhuhu Am I so ugly? huhuhuhuhu

I smiled…” But I am a teenager.”

“Oh how old are you?”

“Well,19.”  As usual I lied (yes, I never tell my real age or else I will suffer from the askers REACTION.), I would have chosen a much higher year but I can’t because one must be 13-19 yrs. old to be called a teen.

.

She was like ——> O_o

                          o_O

                          =3

                          =>

* i will end it here*

P.S. She had the most sarcastic smile in the whole world!

.

.

.

Weird…..I feel an urge to eating Dunkin Donuts’ butternut munch-kins while writing this.

———————————————————————————————————————-

I posted this in facebook and only one friend responded. huhuhu T_T Nobody really cares for me.

My friend thinks that I am clearly insulted and I should have reported the lady to the manager .

o_o

You think so?

Nah! I can’t do that. The idea did’nt even crossed y mind maybe because 

a. I am SCARED of reporting because I think the manager would even do the same thing.

b. I am innocent——> can’t identify an insult.

c. I am ignorant——-> Don’t know costumer service and the power of a manager.

d. Just used to it.

I think its all of the above but if I were to arrange them according to preference, it would be d,c,b,a. Meaning to say, I believe I am just USED to it .

I am so used to being mistaken to be a LOT older than my real age(like 25-37 yrs. old) but still I get HURT. Still, I get shocked.

But thanks to her, I was REMINDED that I am REALLY UGLY to the highest level. 

A “fact” that I always forget.

I don’t look at the mirror because Ill just get frustrated. Well,except when it is my magical-mirror-at-home because I always look pretty at our 28 year old mirror and I don’t know why.

Because of my old magic mirror, I leave the house feeling so BEAUTIFUL and end up getting heartbroken whenever I see my reflection on the jeepney’s (car) side mirror. T_T I can see the side mirror because I love sitting in the front seat because I feel safe and alone there.

Oooops„I am getting talkative. Lets end it here , I am revealing too much in this post. 

Good Night.

ZzzzZzzzzZzzzzZZzzzzzzzzz

The Ugly Duckling is a Bitch!

I heard this on tv, ” I think you like her. Because when you like someone ,you will bug her even though she’ll get pissed.”

I was like……..@_____@

Oh really?

If so,then all the boys who teased me and bugged my spirits are……….inLIKE with me?

Then my classmate likes me? (now)

WHAAAAT?

whahahahahahhaahaahaahahahahaha

A JOKE. BOW

I believe those words were true but they don’t work for me. Never.

Guys bug me because I am BUG-able. They have all the reasons to tease me.

I am ugly, rude and messy.

So I don’t believe they like me. I don’t believe my crush likes me.

What? Did I just say CRUSH? That cannot be. I cant like him. I dont have the rights to. Because I am ugly.

But pessimisms aside, what if?

What if he likes me?

Oh NOOOOOOO!

Oh YESSSSSSS    ........................whahahahaahahha

P.S. Please forgive me, I am a bitch. T_T

Don’t worry my crush for that man will expire tomorrow.(What is that  Unlitxt?)

It is because I just got this feelings at peak today and all I have to blame is my fucking dream. I dreamed of him today and in my dream, he LIKES me. So I returned the favor and LOV……no LIKE him too.

That explains why he is special to me.

I WILL FOREVER LOVE LEE MIN HO. So there shall be no way that I would like my classmate. I must be loyal to Minho.

Man Threw Acid to a Woman Because of Rejection

 An Iranian woman blinded and disfigured by a man who threw acid into her face because she rejected his marriage proposal.


Is it love? Obviously not! IT IS LUST!

As what a quote says, "If you love someone, set her FREE."

What is wrong with people today? Why do they have to pour acid to a woman's face if their marriage proposal is rejected? Actually, this is not the first case. Just last week the same thing happened!
I DONT GET THEM!

ouch!!!!! 

Look at her eyes and you will find HOPE. While some parts of the world suffer from starvation, the RICH eats GOLD. YES THEY EAT GOLD.
http://finance.yahoo.com/f​amily-home/article/113164/​5-outrageously-expensive-f​ast-foods-cnbc

BY THE WAY, lets pray for her. Her chances of living is 50\50.

Just-when-I-think-I-am-beautiful-moment #1

 I just finished washing my face,combing my hair (a lil' bit) and brushing my teeth. I feel so refreshed,so clean and .....

so 

BEAUTIFUL! =p

To confirm my very hilarious ASSUMPTION , I checked .....no SCANNED my self in the mirror.

And I found out that

I AM REALLY BEAUTIFUL!   =p =P =p

Whoaah.....I can't believe it,  no trace of oil, a clearer face though there are still acnes but at least my face looks clean!

I stared at the mirror a litlle longer just to be sure.
hmmmmmmmm.......

Now, I therefore conclude that I am not ugly!     <I'll get goosebumps if I say I'm beautiful>

And now , I am ready to go out and watch our sari-sari Store.

<Trivia- A Sari-Sari store is a very common type of store (which I think could only be found) in the Philippines. It sells almost anything from beverages,candies,junk foods,can goods,drinks,school supplies and many more. It resembles a grocery store but it is a lot smaller and people aren't allowed to go inside the store. They buy goods and recieved them through a window.>
I'm in a good mood. LAallalala LALALA
After a few more steps,I will be reaching my destination.

*step*Step*step*

Oh!!! We have so many costumers! HAndsome costumers to be exact! Ayiiiiiieeeeee

So I rushed in to get their attention, ooppss I mean their orders. 
One handsome guy whom I think on his early 20's smiled at me and
and
my
intetines got TANGLED!
I can even feel my dandruffs are tickling me now.
WHAT A KILLER SMILE!
<inhailllll, inhell, inhale, eXHALE>
iM BACK TO REALITY.
" Wha...what do you want?"I almost stutterd. Good.


"Magkano
ang
mineral
water
niyo
TE?"

TE? TE?

Did he just called me TE? Do you know what "TE" means? It mean Auntie in english!

yucccckkkkkk!!!!!

EXCUSE ME!
IM JUST 17 ,,..... 17 UNDERSTAND?
HE IS WAAAAY OLDER THAN ME AND
YET HE IS CALLING ME AUNTIE?

shit
~_~
shhit
T___T
Actually, Im so USED to being called auntie. I have been mistaken to be on my 30's many time, more than you could possibly imagine.Believe it or not, Im telling the TRUTH! There was even one time when a pregnant women called me auntie! And people always thought that I am my FATHER's SISTER.        T...T
Anyway, though I'm so used to it and I have already accepted the fact...... (the fUCK!).....
...the fact that I AM CRITICALLY UGLY, this situations never  failed  to
                                                 
                                                                             HURT me. 

The only  thing that I have learned to do, was to teach my heart to be hurt  for SECONDS.

This case is different.

I can't stop my heart from hurting any longer. I am not emo you know.

It is just  because.....

...it always HURT ME MORE 
when 

things like this,

happens
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
JUST WHEN I THINK I AM BEAUTIFUL!

My Letters to Mrs.Diary -Excerpt No.1

Dear Mrs. Diary,
 I badly need to learn martial arts now. We all know, that I need it because someday I will be living totally independent and alone. So I need it. Also, I  have to learn it to protect not only myself but also my family.Tonight I found a new reason to learn it and that is to be closer to Min Ho. I mean it would be great to learn the things that he know. It would feel like I know him better and it would lift  up my fan/stalker/lover or whatever-you-call-it status. I want to be deserving to be called his special fan but I find my self superly,obviously,unquestionably unfitting for the title. A reason to work harder.
  Now,my real problem lies on what type of art I should choose. It is not much of a problem but more of a difficult-simple question. You know ,those questions whose answers and the question it self is quite simple yet its choices are difficult to consider. Stepping aside my negativeness and bad approach......<to be continued have to attend school>