Just-when-I-think-I-am-beautiful-moment #1

 I just finished washing my face,combing my hair (a lil' bit) and brushing my teeth. I feel so refreshed,so clean and .....

so 

BEAUTIFUL! =p

To confirm my very hilarious ASSUMPTION , I checked .....no SCANNED my self in the mirror.

And I found out that

I AM REALLY BEAUTIFUL!   =p =P =p

Whoaah.....I can't believe it,  no trace of oil, a clearer face though there are still acnes but at least my face looks clean!

I stared at the mirror a litlle longer just to be sure.
hmmmmmmmm.......

Now, I therefore conclude that I am not ugly!     <I'll get goosebumps if I say I'm beautiful>

And now , I am ready to go out and watch our sari-sari Store.

<Trivia- A Sari-Sari store is a very common type of store (which I think could only be found) in the Philippines. It sells almost anything from beverages,candies,junk foods,can goods,drinks,school supplies and many more. It resembles a grocery store but it is a lot smaller and people aren't allowed to go inside the store. They buy goods and recieved them through a window.>
I'm in a good mood. LAallalala LALALA
After a few more steps,I will be reaching my destination.

*step*Step*step*

Oh!!! We have so many costumers! HAndsome costumers to be exact! Ayiiiiiieeeeee

So I rushed in to get their attention, ooppss I mean their orders. 
One handsome guy whom I think on his early 20's smiled at me and
and
my
intetines got TANGLED!
I can even feel my dandruffs are tickling me now.
WHAT A KILLER SMILE!
<inhailllll, inhell, inhale, eXHALE>
iM BACK TO REALITY.
" Wha...what do you want?"I almost stutterd. Good.


"Magkano
ang
mineral
water
niyo
TE?"

TE? TE?

Did he just called me TE? Do you know what "TE" means? It mean Auntie in english!

yucccckkkkkk!!!!!

EXCUSE ME!
IM JUST 17 ,,..... 17 UNDERSTAND?
HE IS WAAAAY OLDER THAN ME AND
YET HE IS CALLING ME AUNTIE?

shit
~_~
shhit
T___T
Actually, Im so USED to being called auntie. I have been mistaken to be on my 30's many time, more than you could possibly imagine.Believe it or not, Im telling the TRUTH! There was even one time when a pregnant women called me auntie! And people always thought that I am my FATHER's SISTER.        T...T
Anyway, though I'm so used to it and I have already accepted the fact...... (the fUCK!).....
...the fact that I AM CRITICALLY UGLY, this situations never  failed  to
                                                 
                                                                             HURT me. 

The only  thing that I have learned to do, was to teach my heart to be hurt  for SECONDS.

This case is different.

I can't stop my heart from hurting any longer. I am not emo you know.

It is just  because.....

...it always HURT ME MORE 
when 

things like this,

happens
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
JUST WHEN I THINK I AM BEAUTIFUL!

My Letters to Mrs.Diary -Excerpt No.1

Dear Mrs. Diary,
 I badly need to learn martial arts now. We all know, that I need it because someday I will be living totally independent and alone. So I need it. Also, I  have to learn it to protect not only myself but also my family.Tonight I found a new reason to learn it and that is to be closer to Min Ho. I mean it would be great to learn the things that he know. It would feel like I know him better and it would lift  up my fan/stalker/lover or whatever-you-call-it status. I want to be deserving to be called his special fan but I find my self superly,obviously,unquestionably unfitting for the title. A reason to work harder.
  Now,my real problem lies on what type of art I should choose. It is not much of a problem but more of a difficult-simple question. You know ,those questions whose answers and the question it self is quite simple yet its choices are difficult to consider. Stepping aside my negativeness and bad approach......<to be continued have to attend school>

Scary Wounded Girl Crying Tears of Blood

wounded girl

I never knew that Rose
 could be a beautiful name for a man, until a met you.
You were there looking at me straight in the eyes
and I thought it is the end of the world.
Then you asked me how much does our banana cue cost
 and woe to me I just realized you were a costumer.
It was just a few seconds when our eyes met
 but every milifraction of it stained my heart.
I tried not to tremble the moment I would answer.
But I cant even utter words. I am so stupid.


Did he think I am weird?
I bet not , because I believe a beauty like him have met
even more awestruck species like me.
In behalf of others , I say sorry to him not in words but
through telepathy,the only thing at the moment I could afford..
We didn't mean it, you are just irresistible.
Our world has to stop, so that we can enjoy
the breathtaking sight we see.
For we may not see it again.
You should be looking irritated
instead your demeanor were gentle.

How lovely can you get?
You were like a rose so beautiful and stunning
but grow thorns that go deep in my heart
makes it bleed knowing that you can never be mine.


The close space I created is already destroyed.
The power of Truth killed the monster I called Illusions.
Now, Im back to reality.
I can tell how many moments had passed.
You were standing there, waiting for an answer.
And you were smiling!
"A", Is it because I look weird and messy?
"B", Is it because you can read my actions?  or
"C", Is it because , it is just the way you are?
A,B or C the answer cant help my lil' misery.

Oh! God! I could die out of shame!

Lee Min ho 2011 portrait drawing

My first portrait drawing of Lee Min Ho.

Im a beginner in drawing portraits but I hope you like this.















<sigh>
How I wish Min Ho can see this.
It took me almost a 3 months to move my pencil to draw.
I am so lazy. Thanks to Min Ho, after getting lost in his photos, the next thing I know, my pencil was dancing !

 Hi Minho! Ur my idol and inspiration. You are always the best! It is not yet done hehhe I am just excited to post this.

I am so Ugly

I am so ugly ,
yet I expect too much.

I am so ugly,
yet I am so in love with myself and him
   who don't even know I exist.


I am so ugly,
so I don't have the right to fall in love.

My point is you can love me or not,
but I cant and shouldn't love somebody too much.
GO ahead cause you have the right....

...but I who is UGLY must not.

------------------------------------> S           O           S<------------------------------------------------

My 2nd gothic video on youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WAF0Ri6SluM